One of my favorite things about physics class in college was learning about the SI units. My friends and I took to calling them Old Dead White Guy Units (ODWGU) because it seemed to us that most of them were named after … well … distinguished European gentleman of the englishmen era.
Perhaps its a little solipsistic to claim some aspect of the natural world and name it after yourself. But I supposed we have to call these things something, and it’s kind of fun to learn the history behind each discovery. Plus, if those gentleman can do it then I don’t see why I can’t. There are so many things in life that are just yearning for quantification.
A case in point: Todays unit is the Alfred (Alf)
Here are some common observances as measured in Alfreds:
0 Alf = An empty, non descript window (theoretical, all actual windows are > 0 Alf.)
0.001 Alf = 1 mAlf = A window with a spooky shredded curtain blowing gently in the breeze.
0.01 Alf = 1 cAlf = A scowling child looking back menacingly.
0.012 Alf = 1.2 cAlf = A scowling child looking back menacingly and eating an ice cream cone.
0.04 Alf = 4 cAlf = Scowling twins in matching outfits (any age).
0.1 Alf = A mysterious shadowy figure.
0.2 Alf = A mysterious shadowy figure in a fedora.
1 Alf = A gruesome murder in progress, as seen in silhouette.
Note that the presence of a cat in the window automatically multiplies any recorded value of Alfreds by a factor of 0.045. This unitless constant is known as Pluto’s coefficient.